and so on and so on

my latest obsession is blogging, i can feel it in my bones already.
am not sleepy in the slightest, its 1:26am.

i love aggyness deyn? aggynes deyn?

Agyness Deyn

also her small breasts make me feel better about mine. i get quite self conscious sometimes, even though i tell myself that if this is about attraction then i don't want to attract people who will be attracted on the basis of my breast size... yeah, i just tell myself that.

on taxing
i've been shoplifting alot lately.apparently 90 percent of people never will because they believe its wrong.

heres some bits and pieces to explain why im doing it. i don't think its wrong because im brainwashed to think i need useless items that are produced for some small price then jacked up to benefit some insanely and unfairly rich person.

Within capitalism, most of us are either (1) alienated from our labour and hence dependent on the ruling classes for commodities as basic as food and clothing, (2) excluded from the division of labour, in which case we are likewise dependant on the State, or (3) performing unpaid and/or unrecognised labour and hence dependant on patriarchal relations for food, clothing, etcetera. In any case, our access to resources is severely limited by contemporary relations of domination. Shoplifting is a refusal of the exchange economy. It is a refusal to accept the capitalist system, in which workers have to buy back the products of their own labor at a profit to the owners of capital, who thus get them coming and going. Shoplifting says NO to all the objectionable features that have come to characterize the modern corporation. he shoplifter attacks the cynical mind control tactics of modern advertising. Faced with this kind of manipulation, the law-abiding consumer has two choices: either to come up with the money to purchase these products by selling his life away as a wage laborer, or to go without and possibly invite public ridicule as well as private frustration. The shoplifter creates a third choice of her own: she takes the products she has been conditioned to desire without paying for them, so the corporations themselves must pay for all of their propagandizing and mind control tactics. Shoplifting is the most effective protest against all these objectionable attributes of modern corporations because it is not merely theoretical—it is practical, it involves action. Shoplifting is more than a way to survive in the cutthroat competition of the "free market" and protest corporate injustices. The shoplifter makes do with an environment that has been conquered by capitalism and industry, where there is no longer a natural world from which to gather resources and everything has become private property, without accepting it or the absurd way of life it entails. She takes her life into her own hands by applying an ancient method to the problem of modern survival: she lives by urban hunting and gathering. resist selling labor protest corporate power I no longer have to worry about whether the pleasure I receive from the book I purchased was equal to the two hours of labor it cost me to be able to afford it. Shoplifting is a refusal of the exchange economy. It is a denial that people deserve to eat, live, and die based on how effectively they are able to exchange their labor and capital with others. It is a denial that a monetary value can be ascribed to everything, that having a piece of delicious chocolate in your mouth is worth exactly fifty cents

alice dellal is so spiff.
so.
my stockings already get torn of their own accord
i already wear too short ripped denim shorts
the bitch stole my look.

i got a green leather jacket.

im going to get a flanny. im all set now.




i mix this look with effie from skins cause shes just so fuckign sexy. fuckingfukingfuckingfufugng. basically she just wears alot of jewelry. and doesnt blink. thats her sexy.
people have different sexys!
okay, its 1:37am i need to go to sleep now

bisexuality among other things

http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labriola/

some fascinating insights into human sexuality!
i found the articles on open relationships and bisexuality particularly relevant to me and i agree with them whole heartedly

a few things that have stuck with me after briefly reading these articles:

Alternating bisexuals:

may have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.

Circumstantial bisexuals:

primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only in situations where they have no access to other-sex partners, such as when in jail, in the military, or in a gender-segregated school.

Concurrent relationship bisexuals:

have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.

Conditional bisexuals:

either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children.

Emotional bisexuals:

have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.

Integrated bisexuals:

have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.

Exploratory bisexuals:

either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like."

Hedonistic bisexuals:

primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.

Recreational bisexuals:

primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

Isolated bisexuals:

100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.

Latent bisexuals:

completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it.

Motivational bisexuals:

straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.

Transitional bisexuals:

temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

Many of these people might not call themselves bisexual, but because they are attracted to and have relationships with both men and women, they are in fact bisexual.

New Core Belief #1: My partner loves me so much that (s)he trusts our relationship to expand and be enriched by experiencing even more love from others.

New Core Belief #2: My relationship is so solid and trusting that we can experience other relationships freely. My partner is so satisfied with me and our relationship that having other partners will not threaten the bond we enjoy.

New Core Belief #3: There is an abundance of love in the world and there is plenty for everyone. Loving more than one person is a choice that can exponentially expand my potential for giving and receiving love.

i would like to try an open relationship...

the beginning.

things on mind.
.why are me and my sister so different? shes so 'responsible' and 'hardworking' im 'lazy' and 'rude.' shes 'smart' and 'uses her time well' and 'saves her money.' i have 'potential' but i squander it, i 'waste my time' i have 'bad friends' i spend all my money. we were raised in the same household by the same parents.

.sometimes i get so frustrated with the people i know. mostly because i feel they don't understand me.
it goes back to this mantra that i find underlies all human relationships and interactions
everyone wants everyone else to be like what they themselves are

my mind.
.i feel so distracted at the moment.
all that i am... all that i dream of and have been and will be and the things that hurt me and what i want to be and what i want you to be and what i want and what i dont want and why i want it and why i dont want it and why i cant do what i want and when i want how i want and wanting and dreaming and sleeping and seeing and crying and knowing and typing and hiding and insecurity and sex and sex and love and love and love and boredom and school and
school
i have homework i have not completed. consider that sentence a dark cloud that hangs above my head 24-7 before i get off my lazy ass and actually do it. it took me the entire day to do a quarter of my visual communication drawings, and i still have english and art work left.

people.
.are talking to me on msn, including the boy i supposedly have a crush on. but i hate him right now because i hate him right now because i hate him for being who he is and im sick of the whole thing.
.are being ignored because im typing this.
on the train you can watch these black lines criss cross and merge and dance in the sky. i did that and my friend giggled and prodded me 'hey youre such a stoner i swear, what are you looking at?'
'those things are moving' i say

does anyone else watch these lines, because i think theyre pretty

i repeat myself alot. i repeat myself alot. i think i have the same thought patterns and assocations in my head.
.