social conditioning

last night -
- went to design conference at the arts center in the city. it was a mini conference for year 12 students looking to do design, it was better then average teen watching - all the art/design fags were out and about. saw some great outfits.

- read 'TOYBOY.'
basically written by a 40 year old women trying to be a man and realising she's not a man. oh der. i hope when im 40 im not going around screwing toyboys in the hope they will love me. like fuck, arent grown ups meant to be in fucking control of themselves by then? this woman has had 40 fucking years to get her act together but no, shes going around letting guys whip her and tie her up. and waiting for them to email back. where are all the novels about 40 year old women being wise, sure of themselves, and actually doing something with their lives? this book made me so angry. that said, the BDSM sex scenes were pretty steamy. that cheered me up. then i got angry again. you know why?

its just another one of those 'society myths.'

a list of horrible society myths which fuck people up and are totally untrue.
1. all grown ups are happy and know exactly what theyre doing.
2. hard work can get you anywhere (not true. luck is a major factor. and intelligence. beauty helps too. and particularly people skills. that can get you places.)
3. you will find the right man, marry him, and be happy forever more.

however, some 'society myths' encourage peoples behaviour positively and can create a good environment for us to live in, such as 'do not steal.'

i have such trouble trying to seperate what i feel ive been brainwashed to believe and what i actually do believe/need. so that is when i convince myself of things contrary to my true desire (which i question is ACTUALLY my desire or not?)

im not sure if 'society myth' is the right word for it and i think i need to go do alot of reading on anthropology and social conditioning. ill get back to you on this.

and so on and so on

my latest obsession is blogging, i can feel it in my bones already.
am not sleepy in the slightest, its 1:26am.

i love aggyness deyn? aggynes deyn?

Agyness Deyn

also her small breasts make me feel better about mine. i get quite self conscious sometimes, even though i tell myself that if this is about attraction then i don't want to attract people who will be attracted on the basis of my breast size... yeah, i just tell myself that.

on taxing
i've been shoplifting alot lately.apparently 90 percent of people never will because they believe its wrong.

heres some bits and pieces to explain why im doing it. i don't think its wrong because im brainwashed to think i need useless items that are produced for some small price then jacked up to benefit some insanely and unfairly rich person.

Within capitalism, most of us are either (1) alienated from our labour and hence dependent on the ruling classes for commodities as basic as food and clothing, (2) excluded from the division of labour, in which case we are likewise dependant on the State, or (3) performing unpaid and/or unrecognised labour and hence dependant on patriarchal relations for food, clothing, etcetera. In any case, our access to resources is severely limited by contemporary relations of domination. Shoplifting is a refusal of the exchange economy. It is a refusal to accept the capitalist system, in which workers have to buy back the products of their own labor at a profit to the owners of capital, who thus get them coming and going. Shoplifting says NO to all the objectionable features that have come to characterize the modern corporation. he shoplifter attacks the cynical mind control tactics of modern advertising. Faced with this kind of manipulation, the law-abiding consumer has two choices: either to come up with the money to purchase these products by selling his life away as a wage laborer, or to go without and possibly invite public ridicule as well as private frustration. The shoplifter creates a third choice of her own: she takes the products she has been conditioned to desire without paying for them, so the corporations themselves must pay for all of their propagandizing and mind control tactics. Shoplifting is the most effective protest against all these objectionable attributes of modern corporations because it is not merely theoretical—it is practical, it involves action. Shoplifting is more than a way to survive in the cutthroat competition of the "free market" and protest corporate injustices. The shoplifter makes do with an environment that has been conquered by capitalism and industry, where there is no longer a natural world from which to gather resources and everything has become private property, without accepting it or the absurd way of life it entails. She takes her life into her own hands by applying an ancient method to the problem of modern survival: she lives by urban hunting and gathering. resist selling labor protest corporate power I no longer have to worry about whether the pleasure I receive from the book I purchased was equal to the two hours of labor it cost me to be able to afford it. Shoplifting is a refusal of the exchange economy. It is a denial that people deserve to eat, live, and die based on how effectively they are able to exchange their labor and capital with others. It is a denial that a monetary value can be ascribed to everything, that having a piece of delicious chocolate in your mouth is worth exactly fifty cents

alice dellal is so spiff.
so.
my stockings already get torn of their own accord
i already wear too short ripped denim shorts
the bitch stole my look.

i got a green leather jacket.

im going to get a flanny. im all set now.




i mix this look with effie from skins cause shes just so fuckign sexy. fuckingfukingfuckingfufugng. basically she just wears alot of jewelry. and doesnt blink. thats her sexy.
people have different sexys!
okay, its 1:37am i need to go to sleep now